Swaps and sadness

These are the ornaments I sent in to the swap on Sewing Mamas. I was planning on making something else but when I looked at the deadline these ornaments were on there way. Now I'm finishing up more of these for a local ornament swap.
I found them on this blog and have a few more to finish.
I have five more swaps I'm working on and need to finish them up.


I've felt like an emotional mess these last few days. I think about my mom and the Christmas memories come flooding through. The ornaments,Christmas music, decorations, candy making, cooking making, gifts for teachers, Camp Fire Girl Christmas parties, Christmas programs at school, the stockings she made, the warmth of the house, sewing, the Christmas food - the ones I loved and the ones I hated.
She passed away 3 years ago in October from complications from Alzheimer's at the age of 72. The mom I loved had been gone a long time before that day. She moved in to the nursing home when I was pregnant with Jaime and passed away when I was pregnant with Amy. I try to think back to the last good conversation I had with her and it has to be somewhere around 13 years ago. I have some pictures I need to scan so I can post them there. A couple back in the 50's of her, my dad, my aunt and uncle they're decorating a Christmas tree.

There's a scene in the movie You've Got Mail where Meg Ryan is decorating a Christmas tree and she talking about missing her mom more at Christmas and she goes on to explain how it feels like she can't breathe, and that how I feel sometimes.

After writing the above I ran into a friend at a store and felt much better.